"Honey I think we should go casket shopping, I hear Costco has a great deal on those nice maple ones."

Costco really DOES have everything.

Upon browsing on the Costco website for beds, I stumbled upon a tab at the top of the page that read "Funerals" My first thought was what-the-fuck?
My curiousity got the best of me and I clicked it, knowing full well that I was going to get the creeps from looking at erns, stiff flower aragments and un-heartfelt sympathy cards that sported bible versus.
I was wrong. Really wrong. Although I found all of the above items, but I found something better. Caskets, full blown I'm-dead-bury-me-under-the-ground caskets. Maple caskets, walnut caskets, cherry caskets and overnight caskets (which by the way I'm still trying to find out what an overnight casket is. If you know, let me know.) casket, caskets, caskets. If you don't think they really do sell everything, check it out.

Costco Casket Specials.

[update:] I found out what the "overnight" caskets are. They are the ones that they'll ship overnight, haha. Fast AND conveinent!!

Tip of the Day, 5

Don't smoke.

Quite blantantly too, don't smoke. I really hate cigarette smoke and even more so that I've been living at home at the 'rents for the summer. I'm always afraid that I am going to leave the house smelling like cigarettes, my hair, my clothes, my backpack. Ew. But what annoys me more than that is when curly gel haired bus drivers get off of the bus to take one million years to haul on a cigarette then when all the buses start to leave they rush to finish and jump on the bus pretending that they didn't realize the time and blow a plume of grey second-hand smoke to linger throughout the bus for the entire ride. Once or twice ok, but every goddamn day? gimme a break. Go put some more gel in your hair cock knocker.

A+ student.

Looks like I'm heading back to school, aw yeah.
I'm pretty excited although it's going to be a rough year. I have class conflicts but great teachers whom I am familiar with who are willing to accommodate me.
I'm pretty stoked. A two year course in one year, I can't go wrong even if it kills me.
I'll be in the newsroom again, which will be wonderful coming straight out one after all summer, I'll be learning how to specifically write for magazines, colour photography (easy!), portfolio, as well as a few writing classes, civ lit and another internship. holla. So it looks like I'll be heading back forsure, for another year and digging deeper into debt, but really I don't mind. I might as well do all of these things before it's too late right? exxxxxcited!
All I have to do now is try and apply for OSAP (hopefully I qualify) and register at the school, hopefully I can do that by phone.

Summer's fading fast and fall is on it's way.

Friday's my last day at the Kingston This Week. How sad am I? hella sad.

I'm heading back to Belleville Friday or maybe Saturday, I don't really know yet. I have to take a massive summer load of crap up there, basically just stuff that I've accumulated over the summer but I dunno how yet. My dad's truck is classically broken and won't go above 60km/h.
The summer is fading fast and fall is on it's way, which means studenst are heading back to school, I'm heading back to school. I need to get one more year in. Print Journalism. I can take one year of print because I've taken two years of PHJ. I'll be extra qualified, bitches.
I also wanna get one more great summer shoot in while I still can, I'm going to steal Krista this week, whether she likes it or not, but we all know she will 'cause she's a whore for my camera and for me, she's wicked. And when fall arrives, I wanna make a special trip when the colours are right and do it all over again.
Krista is my main gal, the original gangsta, but, I need more models. I need to recruit, anyone interested? seriously.
Now that my stint at the KTW is sadly over but I need to shoot for me, get some of my creativity back, it's still here it's just fading away.
But on the plus side of everything, I'll be in Belleville with Brant, Tweeter, and Ansel. I've felt like I've abandoned them for a few months - Annnnnnd - Traci and I are getting drunk and listen to Alexisonfire ALL WEEKEND! awesome.
This post was pointless really. ha.

Snakes on a plane - Review.

"I want these motherfuckin' snakes off this motherfuckin' plane."

3 snakes out of 5

There are tits, ass, dicks and you guessed it snakes. AND- guys just for the record, if the thought of a snake biting your dick off while you piss doesn't cross your mind, it will now, promise. *I* don't even wanna use outhouses or park/recreation toilets.
Anyway, so last week I saw Snakes on a plane, and although I wasn't really itching to see it, especially after hearing people say that it sucked, I genuinly liked it, like really liked it.
You have to go to the movie not expecting for it to be an amazing blockbuster hit but as a fun night out, get ready to laugh and get sort of grossed out.
This movie is pretty much the most ridiculous movie, ever, and not believable at all. But thats what makes it so good, so what-the-fuck good.
So basically, if you happen to see a murder, don't watch it, don't get caught just run asshole, Or ELSE, you'll end up with killer snakes on the motherfuckin' plane.
How the hell would you get snakes on a plane anyway, SERIOUSLY. You wanna know? In a bunch or lei boxes, how convienent. Not only that but the box has a timer that makes the boxes explode to release them.
So now, we have poisoness snakes AND explosives. wicked.
And I'm also glad that the snakes can slither by wires inside of the plane and and disconnect them, I think it need and inspector, that's not cool.
So now, the snakes are out inside of the plane chilling out then they start to go nuts and biting people. Why you ask, oh it's simple. Pheromones. The bad guys spray them on the leis that the retards on the plane are wearing.
And from there on out snakes kill people, are you surprised? C'mon.
The best part of the movie it the fat lady that is asleep on the plane getting felt up by a snake and moaning, ick. Then she wakes up and the snake bites her eye out, goary. Awesome.
Then some more people die, they make a baracade with a floatation device, they smash the window to suck the snakes out, they land.
The End.
Basically, all in all, go see this movie, even if you don't want to you'll have a great laugh and you'll have something to talk about for days with your friends, no lie. 3 snakes out of 5, holla that.

SOAP review coming soon.

[motherfucking] SNAKES ON A [motherfucking] PLANE MOVIE REVIEW COMING SOON.

You know, it was the song written by the guy - who wrote it.

Last night I shot Blues Fest, Krista joined me at around six we watched a band then went for a brew at the Tir nan og. Just like Tuesday, one pint turned into two, then three, then four and so on. Again, we were both drunk and it was amazing. Robert came and joined us for Potachos [don't remember what they were called] basically nachos put in potato form. They were hot. We missed most of Suzie McNeil but caught a few tunes, I couldn't shoot anyway cause it was too dark and my flash blows. Annnnyway, we went to The Joy Supper Club, which was funny cause honestly it's a club for older men and women which we weren't supposed to be in there but we got in cause I had my media pass, holla. It was awkward but I can see why they won't let the younger crowd in there, it's beautiful, modern and very chic AND there were no Cougs there, must be too grown up for them. No young meat. It's totally where I'm going to go! We left then thats when things got funny. We went into the alley for "Sugar Balls", graffitti sprayed on the walls, and Krista found a giant Colt 45 bottle posed with in then smashed it on the wall....no harm right? there were already tampons, broken glass, garbage. No one would know we thought, the stores that line the alley were all closed, again so we thought. So smash went the bottle then we sat there and giggled for awhile then the back door creeped open and Krista screamed, we all took off running and me well being fat and with a massive backpack on full of gear I lost them and ran a complete opposite way, and not very fast either. It was SO scary and we're idiots. haha.
God, I felt like I was in highschool again, bless you alcohol.

Tip of the Day, 4

Do NOT wear these pants, they are NOT cute, they have to be a cruel joke thought up by someone who thought it would be funny, unfortunately the trend caught on with teenagers, cougars and I've even seen grandmas sporting these godaweful pants, and I'm almost as sick of seeing these as I am Crocs.
I was on the bus (surprise, surprise) on my way home from work when I saw this teenage girl with a pair that had "Angel" on the backside of her pants.
Her ass was having a feast on her pants and ate the letter G leaving her pants to say "Anel."
Totally funny for assholes like me to laugh at.
But really, Next time I see anyone with the words, "Juicy", "Hottie", "Angel" or something else lame I might just slap them. Seriously.
If you wanna wear sweats, fine, If your at the gym, lounging around at home or out jogging. Nothing else. I'm serious.

Tip of the Day, 3

Do not have an explosive shit attack all over a public toilet and it's surrounding and just walk away.
Yesterday I walked into the restroom at the Merchant during my drunken escapade and half walked into a stall that some asshole had an explosive shit attack all over, it was disgusting.
How is it even possible for you to have an attack that messy? I would really like to know.

I don't understand how someone could walk into a stall, shit all over the toilet, the floor, the side of the stall wall and walk out of the washroom without being covered in shit. Honestly I am baffled.

Drunks, Lovers, Sinners & Saints.

Alexisonfire: Crisis Review

4.5 stars out of 5

Alexisonfire's third and much anticipated release Crisis has got a little bit of everything and a whole lot of rock.
Refreshing and better than ever, the guys deliver rocking beats, explosive guitar riffs and the three solid and completely different voices - which of course, my favourite part.
Dallas, George and Wade all contribute their uniquely different voices that make the band.
Many have experimented with "melodic-screamo" tunes, which has proven to be difficult to pull off but, Alexisonfire has proven that they can do and do it well. Two parts Dallas, three parts George and one part Wade, makes for one badass album.
There are songs, aside from the single that stand out like, You Burn First, Boiled Frogs, Crisis and Rough Hands, But seriously, there isn't a song that I strongly dislike.
If you want my advice, want to hear something different from you typical cookie cutter bands and want to rock the fuck out buy this album. You won't be disappointed, if you are I'll personally refund your money. I love this album this much.

Lemony Snicket

[Last night during celebratory birthday drinks with Jay down at the Merchant.]

Lastnight was Highball Tuesday at the Merchant, $3 drinks all night!
1 drink turned into 2 which turned into 4 and then 6, needless to say I was drunk by 10 p.m. sitting down at the Merchant patio listening to hilairious music coming from the Curry Village and feeling a cool breeze on my back, a sure sign that fall's coming.
Pineapple and Vodka was my drink of choice, a last attempt to sway my mind into thinking that summer was going to last forever.
I should've really gotten out to more patios for more drinks, we still have a few good weeks left of summer and I want to use it to it's fullest. Expect a some nature-y photo blogs soon, I feel all lumberjack lesbo-ish. Aweosome.
Did I mention $3 drinks at the Merchant? Who's up for next Tuesday? I know I am.

[AOF review post coming soon.....]

uuuuuhhh. *in a Cher voice.*

It's 10:34 a.m. Guess what the means?
21 years ago this crazy cross dressing asshole was born, jesus.
Addicted to vodka since birth he's been keeping the bars in business ever since, as well as wig shops.
Happy Birthday Jay, you rock.

(let's get our drink on this weekend!)

Happy Alexisonfire Day!

I just got back from my lunch break, went over to Futureshop bought the NEW ALEXISONFIRE disc and got some lunch on the way back, which by the way I haven't even eaten yet cause I'm SOOOOO excited!
I don't think anyone knows how super stoked I am, I can't even beleive how excited I am. I can't even remember the last time I was this excited for a Tuesday when a new CD came out. I wasn't even this stoked for the newest Matthew Good greatest hits album, maybe I knew what to expect. This is totally new, totally rad and makes me want to jump around. I <3 Alexisonfire and THANK YOU jesus, some great new music that I actually can get excited for.
I can't wait till 4:30 when I can go home and blast it SO loud that the neighbours can hear it.

ahhhhhhh! <3

You're so damn hot.

I don't care what anyone says, Damian Kulash is SO hot. That's all.

NO! Not the kiki!

I've been giving the apartment a complete overhauling tonight. I think I'm going crazy. I'm throwing shit out left, right and centre and I don't even care.
Maybe it's Matt Good's fault, or rather inspired by, ever since I've read his blog regarding recent events and his need to throw shit out. Of course my need isn't for the same reasons but I just don't think I need certain things. And we have too much shit.
My motto this weekend is, If I don't use it I don't need it and it's gone. Who needs 17 different candle holders, broken lamps, vaccums that don't work? not us.
Inbetween my spontanious cleaning escapade I managed to set up a miniture studio on the corner of our apartment and snap a few shots.
This one's my fave, Brant's eating Ansel, what a jerk.
And what's with all this blogging? wicked.

Surprise, surprise.

I got another piercing. I'm a retard, but i love it.

I felt extra stupid when I called to make an appointment with the peircers and thought that someone was going to over hear me asking to make an appointment to get my Conch peirced and mistake conch for crotch. That would've been interesting. haha.

Tip of the Day, 2.

Cars stopped at a red light on Princess St., Kingston

White car stopped at light (literally right beside a garbage can); *Teenage boy throws fast food cup out the window.*

Mom in big green van climbs out of the passangers side while husband and kids watch; "Do you mind picking up your garbage that you just thrw out the car window?"

Stupid teenage boy; "Why should I?"

Mom; "You just threw that cup out of the window, there is a trash can RIGHT THERE!."

Stupid teenage boy; *laughs*

Mom; "Seriously. I want you to get out of your car and pick up your trash."

Stupid teenage boy; *continues to laugh* "Whatever."

(Street light turns green.)

Mom; "It's our earth we have to keep it clean, it's people like you who are killing nature!"

Stupid teenage boy; *gets out of car, picks up cup, throws it in trash.*

(Cars honking)

Mom; "Thank you."

(Each gets back in car.)

Mom; *shakes head.*

Stupid teenage boy; *laughs, speeds away.*

(Green van gets stopped by red light, cars behind are pissed.)

Kudos to that mom in the green van, she made my day.

Your music, music career is going down--

DO IT! --
"London Bridge" is the worst song ever made, seriously.

Tip of the Day.

Dear Riders of the #1 Montreal Bus - 4 p.m. Friday, Aug. 18.

Woman sitting in the front "disabled/elderly" row; You are not elderly so you must be disabled. Oh what's that you are neither? Then GET THE FUCK up when 90 year old women get on the bus and have to hold on for dear life while you sit there and pretend you do not see her. You are a douche, and if I see you agin I might make you disabled so you have a reason to sit in the front row!

80 year old senile women; Please do not look at me like I am a monster because I have piercings throughout my face. I'm not the one with a floating wig. AND, why don't you get a wig that matches your thinning grey hair, your mermaid red wig looks like shit.

Fat Man sitting in front of me; TAKE A GODDAMN BATH. You smell like shit, you have the greasiest hair in Canada and you are wearing ripped clothing, not just ripped clothing but ripped clothing that looks like it is rotting on your buldging body. Do everyone a favour shower, or at least hose yourself off.
Man in the red baseball cap; When you shaved this morning you missed a spot. Just thought I'd let you know.

Woman wearing the green short-shorts; This coming from a bigger women myself I hope you will understand when I say: You shouldn't wear short shorts that are creeping up your ass, it makes you look cheap and nasty. I'm sorry. OH! and -- Your Orange tan looks bad too.

Toothless wonder; I'm just curious why you think that it is so cool that you have cigarettes in a bag that you must pull them out on the bus and show them off, why?

Love Erica, oxoxox.

A no goodbye suicide mystery.

Reason # 01 why my dad rocks.

He is in the driveway klinking tools around while working on the truck belting out Apparitions by Matthew Good. Hilairious.
I love my Dad, he's ridiculous.


PS - [photo] Say hello to my mom and dad, they thought it would be funny to try and use my camera to
take self portraits in the drive way on the LCBO, alas it didn't really work but it funny none the less.